I forgot about this

Ive been tanning for the past month but my skin is immune to all sun effects so i dont look that tan.

I also got highlights last weekend. I want to get more and more gradually so that it looks blondish for the summer. I need to find someone to do my hair who isnt scared to do things like cut it in a fun way or color it blonde, the lady i went to was scared to do like anything to my hair- like she was hesitating to trim my bangs. For reals. I need a risktaker.

these are bad pics cuz i hadnt straightend my hair yet and it looks dried out, and i look a tad white trashy, but i havent had time for a good photo shoot. Oh and ive fixed my own bangs since these pics, they're actually bang-y now.

Our anniversary

Just wanted to added that Eric and I's 1 yr anniversary was last Monday, February 18th. It was a good day even though we didnt get to spend a lot of alone time together. He got me a big bouquet of flowers and then later, when I ran into Hess Express quick and came back out to the car, he goes Happy Anniversary Babe! And handed me a jewelry box with a goofy pink bow on it and inside was a super-fine gold bracelet. I love it, i've been wanting something nice but not guady, so that I can wear it everday. He did good :) I can't believe it's been a whole year already; I'm excited though for all the exciting things to come!

Update to the interview

Sorry it took me so long to update!

Well. It went well, it did. Very friendly lady. Gorgeous view from the office lol.

However, I dont know if i'd want the job. First of all it IS out of my league. She asked if i had treasury or government experience...um no? This position is the 3rd highest you can get, CSO,...after this one is her, and then her boss (the CFO). And thats it. She said what made her call me is because of where i went to college, it impressed her, apparently. And because of all the awards I got.

My thing is, I dont think i want to go in this direction with my career. I really don't think i'd like it, the whole financial portfolios of government agencies thing(from fannie mae to amtrack) ...eh its really not my thing. Of course i know a lot of people in my life would think i was nuts. I dont want to sound conceited but i have always been categorized as the highly intelligent one. I dont feel I am but thats what ive always been labeled. I hate labels. So, people think that if youre smart that should equate into making lots and lots of money.

The thing is, i like service jobs. I like being around people. You dont make a lot of money in those jobs but thats what i LOVE. Its hard to tell people that without having them think I'm CRAZY for not wanting to work somewhere where i'll make a crapload of money. But, how many 40 yr olds do you see having midlife crisises cuz they hate their jobs?? I dont want that to be me!! I want a job I love, ya know?So im hoping I just dont get a call back so I dont have to make this decision. It IS a lot of money but i think id be extremely overwhelmed. She even said, its overwhelming, frustrating, and you'll have peopel screaming at you everyday. I'm looking for lesss stress in my life, not MORE.

Oh and Eric got a call from Swhann's (the food company) on thursday but the guy was out of the office till tomorrow. I hope this one pans out, he'd make some decent money and lots of opportunities for growth. So keep your fingers crossed for him!

Interview

I have an interview on Tuesday downtown for a Client Services position at a major banking corporation. Im nervous b/c this is a "reach" position for me...the pay will be between $43,000-$50,000 and theres traveling involved. It's a far cry from my crummy job I have now. Granted, it's what I deserve, I didn't go to 4 years of college to live barely above to poverty line. I also really really want a new job so i'm definatly excited about this opportunity!

A weight has been lifted!!

Some background...Eric and I live at my mom's. I moved home when i graduated college in May, Eric moved in in August. He had a job for awhile but it was temporary and he's looking for a job now. My parents are also going thru a divorce after 26 years of marriage, so my father doesnt live here (he hasnt in a while, long story)

So last night when Eric got home from his hometown where he was getting my car fixed, we were on the way out the door to get to the store. My mom says her and my dad want to talk to us when we get back (my dad was over). I instantly was on guard and on the defensive. Eric and I drive around and I'm feeling sooo sick to my stomach and shaky and sooo anxious. Eric was upset too about it cuz we both thought they were gonna say that Eric had to get out, that they didnt want me with him, etc. So we get home. lets get this over with. Eric and I are on the defensive but my parents took a really relaxed approach. I of course burst into tears right away cuz of all my pent up anxiety. Eric was like ya know i dont really know you so its a bit awkward (to my dad). For awhile they were talking like i wasnt even in the room, i was just sitting there holdng back tears and they were all talking about me, how they all care about me and stuff.

But anyways, I cant remember it all but it comes down to: My parents see that I chose my Eric and they trust my judgement. They care about what happens to me and because I'm their daughter, they care about DB. They want us both to succeed. My dad asked Eric where he sees himself in 10 years, Eric said well no one really knows what the future holds, but i see myself married to Elise and living in a house, living comfortably. My dad was like you want a career not a job, and eric goes yea of course thats what I want but i'll just take anything right now. My dad said he'd help Eric ya know, talk with him once a week or whatever to help him find the career path he wants to take. he was like ya know everyone gets breaks and i know youve had none. At the very least you can use some guidence. Eric is not getting any younger (and neither am I) and we both could use some help I guess figuring things out. My dad spent a couple years unemployed so he knows, my dad actually did a lot of work that Eric has done so he knows what it's like to do hard labor work and to be thinking about ok...what am i gonna really do as a career? Eric would like to learn a trade, or go back to school and get the education needed for a career where he can live comfortable. I think it helped my parents cuz i know thats what they wanted to hear (Eric was serious, that IS what he wants). Best thing is both my parents said ya know Eric, no one wants you out of here, we want to see you happy and succeed. We also talked about me and i cleared up some things about what *I* want (like pertaining to going on to get my masters and stuff). It was actually a really good talk. My parents were really open and respectful and we cleared up a lot of misunderstandings. i am SOOOOO happy they actually gave their approval and didnt act like they wanted me and eric to break up b/c thats how we've been feeling. I can tell Eric was being sincere with my parents and that he is SO relieved too. Theres so much more I can say but I'm rambling. it was a long talk so I cant say it all but basically no ones getting kicked out of here, and my parents want to help Eric, and *us* as a couple to help us succeed and do well. And I think they understand too that we're serious, that erics not leaving my life and that we are gonna be getting out of here when we can, together. So all in all it was a good talk and we both think it was really nice of my parents to talk like that.

Long Overdue Update

Hey everyone, I didn't realize it was so long since I last posted! I think I came on like last month and wrote an update and then when I went to post, it timed out and I lost it. But I digress...

Where do I start?

1) Eric is still living here at my mom's, and well I am too. We are starting to look at apartments now though. I looked today actually but got discouraged b/c there didn't seem too many good ones/decently priced ones out there right now. A couple months ago there were tons! Eric had a job for a while but ended up quiting due to some crazy things (like severe OSHA violations). So he's looking for a job again. He's had a few interviews and is working with a staffing agency now to try and find something. We're getting desperate because nothing seems to be coming up.

2) I too am looking for a new job. I HATE mine. I work overtime every day and soon I'm going to have to start working Saturdays too. I DON'T want to be a workaholic, especially at a job that i hate. Everyday I'm knocked down, made to feel stupid, that I can't do anything right, etc. If I separate myself away from the situation, I can see that my self esteem has just plummeted since I've been here.
I mean, I was educated at the 6th best public school in the nation, and the NUMBER ONE best public college in the nation. In theory, I know I am bright and well educated. Yet, honestly, I just feel worthless and too stupid to do any job right. I know deep down its just from hearing that junk daily at work, but it's hard not to let it get to you. I've applied a million places but have only had a few nibbles that never pan out. We are both getting so frustrated with the lack of job opportunities here.

3) I am looking into going and getting my Masters in Elementary Ed. I'll have to take 2 undergrad classes though b/c of some NY state requirements. The thought of having to do that after i JUST finished my BA degree is daunting; I just want to get started on my Masters if I have to go back to school. I need a math class and...a GYM class LOL. Well really, it can be a "health" class.
I don't know how the logistics of everything will work out, I need a new job first, one where I don't have to stay super late every single night. Most Masters classes around here are in the evening/weekends for working adults. And eventually, when I have to student teach, I will definitely only be able to work part time. Although the thought of working full time and going to school full time scares me. I feel like that makes me sound lazy, but I'm just scared I won't be able to handle it all. But money wise...I don't know how I'd afford it otherwise. It's going to be hard to begin with even with me working full time.

And presently, we are fighting the sickies. We have been since before Christmas!!
First I was sick, then Eric, then me, and now Eric again. And then this morning I woke up with a sore throat. Eric is super sick and SO SO grumpy and ornery. I can't do anything right; I tried cleaning up the millions of Kleenex's around him a couple hours ago and he got all mad at me. He's telling me he's starving so I ordered a pizza, went and got it all by myself, went to the grocery store and got some pop, and guess what? He hasn't eaten any of it! GR why do people with Y chromosomes get so ridiculous when they're sick!! lol