here i am!

Eric has moved in with us at my MOM"S house... yes a shock but his roommate he was living with in the city an hour away was lying to him, and their electric got shut off and he had to be out within 4 days... it was just a weird situation and honestly, its for the best that that skeevy weird roommate is out of his life. Well he moved HERE to my city, but he is A) broke and B) needs to find a job. My mom has been incredibly nice and supportive with it all. Eric might have a job coming his way though actually, he has an interview on Tuesday, so fingers crossed. We havent been sharing my room/bed... we set him up out on our back "porch" its not really a porch but a room thats surrounded in windows that runs the length of our house... its a normal room tho with heat and stuff (haha not that you need the heat now!) Our plan is to move out into our own place as soon as possible... saving money is HARD tho and where i live, the real estate prices are a lot higher than where he was living. He had a 2 bedroom apt for $350/month including utilities where he was... a 1 bedroom here is gonna be like $600/month, although we are finding some smaller ones for $450. Anyway, thats the latest with that, and it is pretty worrisome sometimes cuz everything is just so up in the air! Eric has been really helpful around my house though so my mom is loving that!

I've been moved departments at work and tomorrow is my first day in the new area, I'm getting trained for like a week or two. I got moved to Tax Sale, which is when people's houses are about to be sold at auction (i work for a company called First American, they do proptery tax reporting, but CitiMortgage and PHH outsource through them to pay people's property taxes who have loans with them... i work for CitiMortgage.) I'm nervous cuz it's a lot more stressful of a position and it's harder work for now more raise in pay. And get this... the other day I found out that cashier's at Aldi's (grocery) make more money than I do!!! Thats RIDICULOUS, i knew i was underpaid but i didn't think it was that bad. I actually have an application for there, cuz well, I need a part-time job anyways when I go back to school to get my Master's and i could work part-time there without taking a pay cut for normal hourly wage. I'm not going back to school till Fall '08, but hey if I got hired there fulltime now, i'd go. I know it doesn't seem glamorous but eff it, i'd be making more money than at my "fortune 500" job, I wouldn't be so stressed over a stupid job all the time, and it'd give me the flexibility to work part-time when the time came for it. Its not like either job is the "career" i will have... I'm just biding my time right now, saving up money, and waiting till i can get my Master's to do what i REALLY want to do (teacher).

Well, I need to go shower and spend some time worrying about work tomorrow before I go to bed.

here I am!

HAvent posted in a month... what a bad journaler! So much has been happening, including me turning another year older (turned 22 on 7.17)

Eric has moved in with us at my MOM's house... yes a shock but his roommate he was living with in the city an hour away was lying to him, and their electric got shut off and he had to be out within 4 days... it was just a weird situation and honestly, its for the best that that skeevy weird roommate is out of his life. Well he moved HERE to my city, but he is A) broke and B) needs to find a job. My mom has been incredibly nice and supportive with it all. Eric might have a job coming his way though actually, he has an interview on Tuesday, so fingers crossed. We havent been sharing my room/bed... we set him up out on our back "porch" its not really a porch but a room thats surrounded in windows that runs the length of our house... its a normal room tho with heat and stuff (haha not that you need the heat now!) Our plan is to move out into our own place as soon as possible... saving money is HARD tho and where i live, the real estate prices are a lot higher than where he was living. He had a 2 bedroom apt for $350/month including utilities where he was... a 1 bedroom here is gonna be like $600/month, although we are finding some smaller ones for $450. Anyway, thats the latest with that, and it is pretty worrisome sometimes cuz everything is just so up in the air! Eric has been really helpful around my house though so my mom is loving that! I've been moved departments at work and tomorrow is my first day in the new area, I'm getting trained for like a week or two. I got moved to Tax Sale, which is when people's houses are about to be sold at auction (i work for a company called First American, they do proptery tax reporting, but CitiMortgage and PHH outsource through them to pay people's property taxes who have loans with them... i work for CitiMortgage.) I'm nervous cuz it's a lot more stressful of a position and it's harder work for now more raise in pay. And get this... the other day I found out that cashier's at Aldi's (grocery) make more money than I do!!! Thats RIDICULOUS, i knew i was underpaid but i didn't think it was that bad. I actually have an application for there, cuz well, I need a part-time job anyways when I go back to school to get my Master's and i could work part-time there without taking a pay cut for normal hourly wage. I'm not going back to school till Fall '08, but hey if I got hired there fulltime now, i'd go. I know it doesn't seem glamorous but eff it, i'd be making more money than at my "fortune 500" job, I wouldn't be so stressed over a stupid job all the time, and it'd give me the flexibility to work part-time when the time came for it. Its not like either job is the "career" i will have... I'm just biding my time right now, saving up money, and waiting till i can get my Master's to do what i REALLY want to do (teacher). Well, I need to go shower and spend some time worrying about work tomorrow before I go to bed.

Well, I sure havent updated in a while!!

I've been working 40 hours a week and it is HARD work, definatly don't pay us enough. It's not a mind numbing entry level job, you have to T-H-I-N-K, make decisions, and its affecting thousands of dollars of people's money!! You'd think the company would deem that important and pay you more than what we're paid, but no. I love the people I work with, even if I don't like the job so much.

I've actually decided to go back to school to get my Master's in (probably) Fall '08!! I want to be *drum roll please* an elementary school teacher!!!! It just seems like the right thing, the thing i have been avoiding admiting to for the past 5 years, but i know it's right. Plus, i'd LOVE to have summer's off and still make a full years salary (hehe). And teachers around here get paid pretty well, more than i'm making now. Teaching jobs around here arent the easiest to get though, but if I wanted to move down south, the schools down there eat NY trained and certified teachers up. Only thing is, i dont know if i'd want to move! The Masters program is only a year if i went full time, except I dont know how i'd work full time too. So much of it is outside of the classroom, 100 hours need to be spent in schools during the 1st semester and then 2nd semester its 14 weeks of full-time student teaching! I'd probably have to quit my job and find something parttime... my mother will be thrilled... she thinks i should be able to do it all *rolls eyes*

I cant wait to get out of my mothers house, i need to save a bit more money still. It doesnt help that my car is having troubles and its going to cost $500+ to fix it. (the appt's on tuesday). So that's definatly a set back there. Eric's living 50 miles away now, sharing an apt wit ha buddy of his. We were thinking about moving in together in the fall but now I dont know what he wants to do, he's in a band there now and stuff. He still does NOT have a job, although he finally applied for unemployment and is going to start receiving that soon. It doesnt help that his car blew up, which makes it harder when youre trying to find a job. His father is a mechanic and said hopefully he can get his car fixed for him by his bday (which is august 12th).

Speaking of birthdays.... mine's in 10 days! It's 7/17, I'm going to be 22! Wow, i feel so old, I was just talking to a friend of mine the other day about something i did the summer i turned 17 and i couldnt believe it when i realized that was FIVE years ago! I almost felt like crying, why does time (and life) have to go by SO fast?

I'm a college graduate!

I graduated college on Saturday, May 12th with my BA in poltical science!! I should also be started a job doing real estate tax the day after memorial day.

However, I have always entertained the thought of being a teacher, i actually started college majoring in history education, to become a social studies teacher. I dont even really rememeber why i switched majors except i was 18 years old and too young to know what i wanted to do with my life.Ive really been thinking about it now though... i feel like its just the right decision for me and i know it but i tell myself its not becuase i have a fear of failure. Eric has been encouraging me to do it, and my family always has. You make decent money for not even working a full year... i mean teachers only work 9 months a year and still get paid middle class income. So itd be nice to have summers off, especially when i have kids. I'd get my masters in secondary education, and teach social studies... since i have my BA in political science and so i'd actually get to use my undergrad degree a bit lol. You need to have your masters to teach here in NY anyways so i need my Masters no matter what. I debated between elementary and secondary (7-12) and i'm still not 100% but i think id be happier with secondary because you can reason with the older kids better... and with the younger kids its harder cuz thats when theyre learning their foundations and you have to catch all the learning disorders then and stuff. Id actually love to teach high school seniors, participation in government or AP gov't and politics is the course 12th graders learn here. Id love to teach any of them tho.. global history is 9th and 10th grade, and US history is 11th grade. Of course when you first start out teaching they stick you with the 7th and 8th graders in middle school tho cuz those are the hardest ages to teach!So, we'll see, i have to look at the grad school programs in the area to see what they offer... i dont have to make any decisions for awhile yet...

My job interview

I went to a career fair on wednesday and got hooked up with a recruiter from a staffing agency. I had an interview on Friday at a job staffing place here with a recruiter. She has a job for me that is for a banking company that has started a division that takes over billings and taxes, etc, for its clients. Its kind of like this business here called Paychex which everyone in the city knows about so thats what i've been telling people its like lol. I asked her the name of the company tho and she said she "couldnt tell me yet because they like to remain private and dont want their name all out there." Ummm ok, thats odd, i hate secrecy. They have different braches of legal stuff too, i know they do real estate, and morgage law and stuff. Umm...she'll call me on monday probably to set up an interview which would acutally be with this company, and i'd have that interview next week. She said she'd be sitting in on that interview because theyre trying to cut down on the interview process (im assuming they used to do two interviews and are now making it into one). She was telling me about how they interview a bit and of course i was nervous about it. She said they do some like historical inititive or something approach...i dont really know. Basically playing off of my answers to their questions to ask me further questions. Be prepared to give detailed examples of times i've done problem solving, analyzing, decision making, etc. She was giving me some ideas...basically the roll she's is now is to help me get th ejob but she told me to be careful at the next interview cuz she has to wear a different hat at that one and dont ask her the things i would normally as her as my recruiter (its more chatty and casual in the recruiter relationship and the next one we'll have to act more formal.) Im glad she'll be there though cuz i think i'll feel a little more at ease. This job doesnt pay great, but its a dollar more than paychex for the same position and paychex is like THE reputable company in the city to get involved in, so i think thats a good sign. I get benefits, 401K, and 3.5 weeks of vacation a year. The good thing about the vacation is that every pay period you get reaccredited. So if you used a week, then the next pay period you would get bumped back up to 3.5 weeks. I wasnt really sure how it works but my recruiter was just like thats so awesome i wish my job was like that! So basically i would have a good amt of vacation available lol. The job is definatly a "get your feet wet" type of position and a good way to gain expereince. She said a lot of the people in the company are young, and actually the managers who are her contacts NOW were the graduates she placed there in 2003. So the managers are only 4 years older than me, plus its a good sign that they advanced already. She also said this job is good experience cuz other graduates she has placed here have gone on to great jobs and stuff. So we'll see!

Hello all

Well, as usual i have been super busy, will it ever end?

I am frantically running around trying to finish up my college career, complete with exams, papers and last minute presentations. I'm also attempting to find a decent job after I graduate...i've had semi leads, but all have sort of unraveled. I'm going to go to a career fair on Wednesday, there's a ton of employer's going and many seem to be up my ally, so maybe that will turn something up.

Eric and I are doing well! It is still really, well, shitty, living 1.5 hours apart but what can you do? I've been crabby lately though, and he's had to put up with that. Being a crabby b*tch so early on in a relationship probably isn't the best thing. I need to remember to be really nice to him this weekend when he's here, haha. No i really do though, i've been moody and crabby for like 2 weeks due to crazy stress on top of PMS. The past 2 weekends he was here i got "mad" at him for such stupid reasons. Honestly now. Do you ever look back at your actions and emotions and think "my GOD i was a stupid girl!" I need to start being more happy go lucky again and not so stressed out. I even got a panic attack last week and i havent gotten one of those in 2 years! Last week was probably the worst week of my semester, but still. No one wantsto be around a crabby person, so i really need to work on improving my attitude.

I got a traffic ticket for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign (i STOPPED i swear!) and it cost me $200. THEN, NY state has this new law where if you have 6 points on your license you owe them $300- thats $100 a year for 3 years. This is brand spankin' new and of course i would get it. So that stupid stop sign is costing me $500. It was at the end of an expressway ramp in the middle of no where (getting off at my college) and of course there was a cop sitting there waiting for me. It kills me every car i see does the same thing i did-you can see for miles and miles and if theres no cars coming, you do the rolling stop thing. I swear i stopped for real though. A cops word against mine though, no point in arguing. So yea, money has been a stresser lately because of that. My apartments rent is $2000/month (split between 4 of us) but here they do it by semester since its a monoplozied college town. I owed $950, but i went and paid $400 last week so now my wonerful balance is $550. Le sigh, i hate money.

She lives!

Hello, I have not disapeared off the face of the earth! I have had a lot of changes though since the last time I posted.

I mentioned in my last post that Matt and I were no more.

I have however found a wonderful NEW guy. Well I'd known him for a little while, but after Matt and I ended things, it suddenly seemed to make sense that I'd be with Eric. We've been "officially" together for a little over a month now and things are going well. He lives in Buffalo (about an hour away) so that kind of stinks becuase we can only see each other on the weekends. I can't wait till Friday when I can see him again. He's 24, so 3 years older than me. I'm trying to convince him to move here to Rochester as he needs a new apartment right now. He'd have to find a new job, but his job he's at now SUCKS, they don't give him enough hours, the pay is terrible and he doesn't even like it. I keep telling him he needs to leave anyways. We've even tossed around the idea of getting an apartment together once I graduate...my mother would love that! It would make sense though...it'd save us both money, and we'd probably be over at each other's apartments all the time anyways, so that'd be a further waste of money. Plus, I just want to be with him! My mom hasn't met him yet, but she will next weekend. She's been bugging me about it for some time now. She already has something against him because he dropped out of college. My mother is a snob when it comes to college education. I want him to go back to school myself and get his degree, but you can't make him. I just know he's smart enough to do it, lol plus then he'll make a lot more money hehe.

I graduate college on May 12th! I can't believe it, it's really not that far away at all. 4 years have come down to this! I'll have my BA in political science. I have been looking for jobs but my god it isn't easy. Especially since every job description posted wants you to have experience. Well how am I supposed to get that experience if I can't get hired somewhere!? lol I got a call today from a place that specialilizes in helping people with speical needs and other problems-its actually a big serious of agencies in the county. I know I'm a poli sci major but that's just kind of random- i really LOVE social things and human service stuff. I'm actually not all that interested in law stuff anymore. I know I know, but lots of people get into fields that don't go with their undergrad major...right? I just sent them my resume monday night and got the call the next day. The pay is horrible though (only $10/hr) so I think i'm going to pass. Not to sound snobby, but I'm better than that! I didnt go to college for 4 years to only make that...I know I'm worth more. Plus i HAVE to get a job with benefits, not having health insurance is not an option for me. I don't want to turn down a job though cuz what if I can't find anything else? This is all VERY stressful, especially since everybody and their brother keeps asking me about my plans and my family keeps on my case about my job search. Ah!

I'm such a dork. I was supposed to go on friday for my 2nd round of the Gardasil vaccine (its a series of 3 shots) and I totally forgot! I had to call today and I now have to go on Thursday at 10:45 which means I will be missing 2 of my classes. I need to get the shot in though. I also sceudaled a gyno exam for June 14th...fun. I had my annual in October and my pap came back with abnormal cells. So I had a colposcopy back in Decemebr and the result were "negative" not sure exactly what "negative" means except that thats good. But, for the next 2 years (I think) I have to have an exam every 6 months instead of once a year. Hopefully everythings clear in June, I don't want another colpo. It wasn't *that* bad, but I really HATE gynocological procedures. After that though, the normal exam won't seem that bad!

Well, I think I'm going to snuggle up in bed and watch some Cosby Show reruns on nick at nite. Hoepfully someone is reading this!

Changes

I haven't been around for a little bit because so much has been going on.

I think Matt and I are done:( It makes me really sad but i can't say I'm surprised. It was never really serious anyway. I'm still pretty upset though. I could feel him growing distant when we'd talk online, and he wasn't calling much and I could just tell. I feel like he's at his internship in Oregon and now he just wants to dick around and be crazy, and I don't fit into that life. We never had official words like "we're breaking up" but over the course of our conversation the night it happened, it was pretty much implied. I don't even know everything that I feel...it still hasn't tottally "sunk in" yet. I've talked to him a bit since, but it kinda just makes me too sad.

School has started up, and it seems like an easy semester...i'm taking all 100 level classes...lol even in disciplines that i've taken upper level 300 level classes in and stuff. I wanna get a good GPA my last semester of college. I turned in my graduation application on friday...can't believe i'm going to graduate in May!! Seems like just yesterday I was a little naive freshman in college!

I feel like I have so much to say but can't think of what to write...so i guess I'll just go. I haven't made dinner yet and it's almost 9pm!! No appetite, but now i'm getting kind of hungry.

Never ending

Sickness. It's all post nasal drip... its irritating my throat and making me cough and i'm all stuffy. I'm so SICK of being sick!!

I've talked to Matt. i dont know what's up with him. He's definatly acting weird. The other day he had an away message up while he was at work (i think he was online at work) and it said something like "so tired...thanks to someone keeping me up! ;)" well that someone wasnt me. I know it meant up late TALKING to someone online, but that bugs me! Why can't he stay up late talking to me. Grr.

Af arrived yesterday. It is SO heavy. It's the kind that's making me feel like I don't want to do anything. I'm supposed to be going out with friends since I'm going back to school probably on sunday...but i really don't feel like going anywhere. Then that makes me feel like a lazy bum!

Guess who hasn't called me

Yep, that would be Mr.Love, although right now he's Mr.Poopface to me lol. He got to Oregon last night and texted me that he was there and safe. I haven't heard from him since and it's bugging me. He exercises his Y chromosome freely so this isn't shoking lol.

This girl I know is pregnant...she got married after only meeting the guy 3 times, she's 19 with no high school education, no health insurance, no obgyn (has never been), living in the projects... I hope the best for her because she's not in the best situation. I personally would never TTC if i had no insurance and couldn't afford gas some days to get to work, but we all choose different paths I guess. I guess it just bugs me when someone is TTC knowing theyre gonna have to use welfare, I just don't think it's responsible. We never would have started TTC if we financial had not been able to provide for a baby, even when i was still being told i was going to lose both my ovaries within 5-7 years and was on limited time. A "mistake" is one thing...but purposely trying, i dont know, I guess I just wouldn't do that in that situation. I don't think it's the most responsible decision in the world, but it's not the first time it's happened... I'm hoping it'll be a good thing actually and help her grow up, grow some backbone and learn a bit about the world. Shes just REALLY naive about the real world...she didnt even know she needed prenatal care. I do like her, she just has some big self esteem, self worth, personal identity issues and I hope that this helps with that...

Anyway, I went to dinner for my cousins 15th birthday tonight and I'm about to head over to their house in a few minutes for some cake. Im waiting for my mom to swing by and get me, she's down the street at my cousins...we're watching her 6 and 10 year old and the 10 year old isnt home from hockey practice yet and we're waiting to bring them over too. Hah, we're bringing over an old home video me and my sister were watching from July 1989 when we were all at a cottage in canada...omg we were SO cute. Only 4 of us were born (out of 7 girls) me and my cousin heather were 4 (well my bday was 3 weeks away), my cousin emilie was almost 2, and my sister lindsay was 15 months. Just so adorable!

I should go clean myself up a bit. Im sick AGAIN. Im on anti biotics for an unknown coldlike infection and was better for like 5 days. Now i'm sick again. My throat hurts, my glands are swollen and i have a low grade fever. Im also exhuasted because i literally did not sleep last night. I snoozed for about 3 hours this afternoon, so as you can guess i'm tired. I need to try and get to bed decent season tonight...although it's already 9pm!

4am musings of a Insomniac

First i will give you a taste of Sammy, the fat dog. My sister brought home a new toy for him a few days ago, actually her friend's sister was getting rid of this stuffed animal dog that has an uncanny resemblense to Mr.Sammy. Sammy had no idea what to do or what to make of this new creature. He was touching noses, and sniffing its butt! We put it in Sam's bed, and I think the look on his face sums up how he was feeling perfectly.

Now I am laying in my bed and reveling in the wonders of the laptop. I just got into bed actually, after i spent hours at the desk, in an old wooden chair, I remembered that 'Hey! this computer is mobile!' and got in my bed. My back feels so much better haha.

So yes, I can't sleep. Insomnia? Yes, I think so. It's raining out and I like the way it sounds, although in my bedroom here at home, the way it hits the gutter or something right outside my window is extremely annoying. So, there's no soft raindrop sounds that I'm listening to but rather a sporatic clucking of water on metal.

I lie down and thoughts run through my head, like every night. (Not to mention that I had a late night snack of that green chili and my stomach is a little off). I can't believe Mr.Love is leaving tomorrow. It just seems so surreal. he leaves from Albany sometime this morning. Am I a bad Lover that I don't know the exact time? I think it's ok since I am all the way across the state and don't have to worry about an airport farewell. Matt has been home for christmas as well as me, his hometown is this little rinky dink place 4 hours east of here, semi close to albany. It's kinda of stunk because these last few weeks I haven't gotten to see him much. He was here on Tuesday and that's when we said our goodbyes in person. I'm a little perturbed at him because he didn't call me tonight. You'd think he would, even just to vent his worries about the change ahead. But I know him well enough to know that he has no worries! I admire his self-confidence so much, I wish I had an ounce of it. He's self-confident but not stuck-up or pompous...it's the kind of confidence that just radiates good humor and good nature. I know he's actually very excited about going out to Oregon for this internship. If it was me, I'd be up all night worrying with my stomach in knots. I guess what this is coming down to is I do have a fear of us growing apart. And more specifically, that he will "forget" about me. I won't whine about how unfair this all is but...well it is!

I think this might be a good thing though, so that I can focus on my last semester of college and I'll get to spend it doing normal collegey things in one last hurrah of it. I am ready to be done with school, and have been for awhile, and have been acting like it for awhile, but maybe just geting this one semester to act like I love it again will be good for me (am i just groping for the positive here?)

When I lie in bed I also think of someone else. Chris, my ex. He was the first man I ever really loved, in fact I do love him still. The love is not the same exact type, but i will always love him because once I love someone truely, I never stop. We talk very often-every day to every other day. Sometimes I get angry and know why we're not together and sometimes I really do miss him. Maybe that's bad of me, I dont know. But we went through so much together and I experienced such new feelings when we were a couple. The ultimate thing that prompted our break up was I had just had a miscarriage 3 weeks before and I think he had trouble dealing with it, and dealing with how I was feeling. He was also in his senior year of college and was extremely stressed from that (i just had a brutal semester, so i can now see how he must have been feeling acedemically). He also wanted some space to spend time with friends, and even though I still don't think the amount of time we spent together was an unusual high amount, he thought it was in the end. I do wish things could have been different, but everything works out in the end. If it wasn't for that breakup I wouldn't have experienced this relationship with Matt now. Don't misunderstand me that anything would ever start up between us again, because it wouldn't, if for anything else but the fact that he lives on Long Island now and has a girlfriend (who looks JUST like me btw, creep factor=100%)

I set up my tripod and got out my camera (brand new for xmas Canon G7) and had a little photoshoot tonight but gosh I just hated everything. Nothing was turning out how I wanted. Then I took some pictures of my butt and of course those turned out pretty good! *Sigh* I will never be a serious photographer when the only decent photos I can get are ghetto booty money shots.

first entry jumble

So i've had this account for awhile and never blogged on it... I suppose I couldn't imagine cheating on my old Livejournal. But, it's time for something new!

Today i woke up relatively early for me, 8:30, and suddenly felt an urge to job search. I submitted my resume online to a few places... maybe I'll hear back, we can only hope. I feel a little guilty because i didn't attend a job fair i was planning on going too. Once again my anxiety kicked in, plus the fact that only 2 employer's out of the 30 there would have applied to my interest, major, and experience. Hah, guilt really makes me work!

My next semester starts the day after Martin Luther King day. My last semester in college! Wow, i can't believe how quickly time has gone by. Hopefully this semester won't be too hard. Last semester killed me, really, it was just so brutal, I don't know how i made it through!

I actually cooked tonight. I was watching Rachael Ray this morning (this is not a usual thing) and she made "Green Tortilla Chili." I dont know if it's just because i was hungry then, but my god I just wanted some of that chili. So i actually went grocery shopping, got all the ingrediants, and made it! I have NEVER done this before. And by "never" I'm talking about making a dish I saw made on TV. But lol, "never" could apply to cooking in general. Because when do i cook? I still haven't lived down the incident of setting the kitchen on fire whilst making a tuna melt...

Matt leaves tomorrow for Oregon. He'll be gone till August. This is really killing me. 7 months away... He has to do 5 internships for his major (computer engineering) and he got an internship in Hillsboro, Oregon at Intel. I feel like he's been pulling away a bit, but maybe I have as well. I feel like if I make myself feel less attached, then it won't feel as bad. We made love on Tuesday, I know i was ovulating, and I honestly hope I didn't get preg... I can't imagine going through a pregnancy without him here. I actually thought about going to get the morning afterpill the more i thought about it, but I decided to just relax. Plus, it wouldn't have worked now anyway because i'm on antibioticcs for a sinus infection. Sometimes i can really overthink things, ya know? We'll see I guess.... I've actually been thinking about going back on BCP's while he's gone. It'll really even out my period I think, and there's no point NOT being on them now.

Sometimes I feel like we should just have gotten engaged before he left, but idk, I didnt want it to be rushed and "just because" he is going away. Plus, I don't want to have a long drawn out engangement or be planing things here all by myself. He'll be back, and then we can go from there. Maybe this is a good thing...some time apart might be good to think things through and think about what we really want to do with our lives.

My guitar playing has been going well...I'm learning all the basics and it still sounds like a big jumble of a mess but i'm getting better! My fingers have callosed up a bit and the strings don't kill me anymore when i move my fingers on the frets. Someday, someday I'll rock like Hendrix... lol.

Well, I'm off to help my 15 year old sister finish writing up a 5 page Bio paper. Ah the days when 5 page papers seemed like a monstrous amount of scriblings to produce! I'm such a dork though, I'm actually looking forward to helping her. My mind has felt like mush these past few weeks since I've been on Winter Break!